fast forward

please be next week already, thank you!

size extra hot

i'm way late to this loving yourself as-is business but i am quickly catching up. maybe my age has to do with it. pulling away from 20 and pushing toward 30 i realized i didn't "give a shit" for lack of better words about a lot of things. its not so much that i didn't care but more that i wouldn't let things bother me as much as they would have 5,4,3,2,1 years ago.

one thing that i did let bother me was my body. i would often downplay what size i really was, not to the point of buying clothes way too small and spilling out of them, but more like not wanting to add the plus. as long as i didn't go over 14/16 and could buy "regular" clothes, i was still okay somehow. i didn't "need" to shop at the big girls store because i wasn't one, at least not yet.

anyhow, i am over the big vs. little and letting numbers get the better of me. i bought a bathing suit last week, one size bigger than i thought i would need, which would have bummed me out except i looked really good in it. i never thought i would like the way i looked in a bathing suit again, so who cares what the tag says? i say awesome.

today i went shopping for bras since i had exhausted my two favorite ones. i went to lane bryant after work and got three really great bras that fit right and give great shape. the color of one of them is beyonce pink, hilarious. until i work out what's going on with my middle, i can keep everyone's eyes up top. oh and i got this funhouse type mirror from target for 5.99 or 6.99 that makes me look longer/taller, fake it till you make it.

yes, have some

work has been a beast the past few weeks, more to do and less time to do it. though i will say this is the first time they've offered to subtract a task instead of just adding away. it doesn't free up as much time as i thought i would need for new tasks but being new to the situation, i could be wrong. at any rate, my new partner was able to sub out nearly all her tasks save the two we share. hopefully she can carry more of the load since i'm still quite overloaded.

i felt a bit overwhelmed and frustrated today, but i had to step back and remember that we're nearing year end which is always a slow season and will be even slower given the general suckage of the economy. everything is just taking longer because i am still learning. once i know what i'm doing it will be like everything else. i'll find a flow and go go go.

p.s. three weeks to vacation, woo!

everything must go

i don't know if i'm semi-hoarder or what but i have way too much crap. i made so many trash runs over the weekend that i might be able to fit some old jeans now, to be determined when i go through the piles of "goodwill" clothes. i have way too many "school" books, not sure which i will donate to the friends of the library or the local thrift store. i remember thinking i had to keep them all and forever. now that i am almost ten years out of college (whoa!), i realize that's not the case. mom was right about that 8 years ago, should've listened.

run/walk/bike

our neighbor's had a r/w/b at a nearby park this morning as the kick off event for the nonprofit they started to honor the memory of their brother/in law/uncle who died easter weekend. it's a children's charity so how could i say no? anything for the kids.

everything turned out great. they had planned it so well. they mapped out the course with flags, had drink/snack stations, and cyclists lapped us a few times, checking up on everyone and cheering them to the finish. even though it was not a huge turn out, it was full of family and friends and lots of love. it was more than enough.

there was a bbq after that i didn't think we would stay for but they did have some fruit and the best salsa i have had in a while so we parked it under some trees and visited for about another hour and one more plate of chips/salsa. in the years to come, the event will be held in march so it shouldn't be as warm, maybe by then we'll be up for running or biking and can bring our own picnic.

booked and ready to board

better late than never. i practically skated around the office as soon as my vacation request was approved. time to go where the stars at night are big and bright.

self sabotage?

i have tons of pictures of my niece at my desk, so many that if you didn't know any better you would probably think she was my daughter. i never really cared since almost everyone at work knows me and my situation, or lack thereof. i wouldn't consider dating anyone i work with (its mutual) so my availability has always been a non-issue.

but what about the visiting men folk, it's okay to chat them up and vice versa, right? right. i need to hone my social skills and learn to talk to unfamiliar fellas, in a friendly and not necessarily flirting manner. y'all know how guytarded i am but i really have been working at working it.

at any rate, just in case someone is interested, maybe i should be more clear that i am single. i need to take down a few pictures and put up a big "world's best aunt" placard or something. i thought it would be funny to get a "single" nameplate, but i know i wouldn't wear it for fear of looking too desperate.

having kids and a family is rad, don't get me wrong. i just know i will not ever have either of my own if it looks like i already have both.