and she's out.
after two earlier scraps, one with each of the smaller dogs, tonight ms. penny has used up all her chances. i'll never know what really happened because i didn't see it, but for whatever reason she snapped and grabbed the smallest of our dogs by the neck and jerked her around like a ragdoll. so far the little one is okay, but there is no way we can keep them all after something like that, what if next time we're not so lucky. to be real, there should have never been a this time.
i've been feeling bad about not doing right by this dog for a month or so now and my plan was to have her spayed, put her back in training and make a new start. i was just talking about it today, but it is too late for that now. i'm going to do my best to find a place for her, but i know it will be tough with her behavior issues. i don't even know how long i have to get her relocated, but i'm sure it's not much more than a few days. i'm hoping my vet/trainer will have some recommendations and maybe one of them can at least keep her for a bit so i can work something out. it's a huge lesson for me to learn, but i feel horrible that she is going to also have to pay the price for my mistakes.
i don't think i've stopped crying for more than five minutes in the past few hours and i know it will only be worse when i really do have to let her go. she has such potential to be a great dog, i just have to find her a better owner, and fast.