i've never liked being fussed over, it's just embarassing, no matter what i may have done to deserve the fuss, i'm not having it. i really can't take it on a birthday because i didn't really do anything, my mom did (and dad too). i rarely want a party, much less presents, but i do like to go to dinner/cocktails with family/friends, get cute and take some fun photos.
i guess since i am not feeling this year, that spread over to how i felt about my birthday too. before this year got so ugly, mostly due to money/economy, even uglier, i was really excited for my birthday. i knew i would annoy friends/family with the amount of times i would say/write 31-derful (coped from baskin-robbins). i planned on making my sister take an obnoxious birthday photo of me that i would email or at least post on social websites. even though i am not an "all eyes on me" person, i would at least tolerate it for the duration of the "happy birthday song".
i didn't really expect much for this birthday and i was okay with that until i realized maybe this year i did want some fuss to make up for all of the stress of the last few months. i did have some nice phone messages and a few good ones on the internerd too. the most surprising was a text from my brother. i am holding out for a call from my niece (at her dad's today) but i'm not sure i will get one. she did wear the "if you think i'm cute, you should see my aunt" shirt yesterday, which is probably the best present i got so far.
so maybe it's not as bad as i thought, and i have 364 more chances to make good of it.