Just A Cutter Number

I know I took this job because I needed a job and at the time it also seemed that the job needed me. A lot of the tasks reminded me of the library so I tried to pretend that the files were books and it was sort of like my own little collection or something. I knew where everything was and everyone knew that I knew and that was kind of cool for a while.

I've done my time as the file monkey, now I'm on desk duty. I already know how to do everything there is to do here. I hit the ceiling, hard.

I really enjoy working with my boss and there are very few other managers I would feel comfortable working with since hardly any of them seem to know what they are doing and they do not support their employees. Luckily she is in a similar situation and she would encourage me to either learn new programs/tasks and move to another department or to go to school for what I really want to do. I know she would back me on whatever I decide to do, but because I am really bad at loyalty and guilt, I feel horrible to leave the department to any of the others because it will just go to utter shit. As is, I am very disappointed with the people we have, I have hardly any confidence in them, individually and as a whole. But I have to remember that as soon as I walk away (whenever that might be), it isn't my problem anymore.

Per usual, I'm off to a late start, but I am finally getting myself in gear to make ready for the second round of school, provided I get in. I have to register and study for the GRE and try and find some schools that might be nice and give me a chance (see: not so good gpa and 0 letters of recommendation--that's what happens when you don't think you will go to grad school because compared to the other gals in your family, graduating in four years without getting married or pregant is already a huge deal--and also because you were dumb and didn't go to counselors/advisors because you didn't think you needed to do that). I can round up my library cohorts and I'll probably volunteer at the local branch, even though I am all about the LOC. I'll have to go on a field trip to see the old place and run next door and beg for mercy.

God help me, I think I want to work in reference, or maybe it is because I just watched Desk Set last week while wrapping gifts.