The only mail better than the all of the pre-approved credit cards and "you may have won $10, 000, 000" is the letter that invites you to participate in a pageant.
The director of the Pasadena Pageant wrote to tell me that I am eligible to participate and that someone who thinks I would enjoy modeling referred me. Yes, I would enjoy modeling, nevermind that I am decidedly too short, unthin and old to start a modeling career. I read the rest of the letter, wondering who thought it would be funny to give my name out for something like this and thinking it is something I would probably do just for fun and to see how soon I get cut. I keep reading "Judging is based on personality, casual wear and formal wear modeling. There is no bathing suit or talent competition involved in this year's pageant" -SOLD! Where do I sign up?
Myself and the other candidates are invited to meet the director that same weekend in Pasadena. There are directions, an address and a number to call if I have questions. Bring a photo, writing materials, and dress as if you were going to an interview. Feel free to bring anyone you think would be interested, as long as she is between the ages of 10-23.
So this Patty Neidert chick waited till the end of her form letter to break my short, chubby and soon to be wrinkly, heart by telling me I am not really eligible at all. I could have been a contender.